You think: No, it is not!!!
I do forgive easily, but there is a more difficult part about forgiveness, isn’t there? At least for me and for some other fine blogging ladies. I came across three posts this past week, talking about forgiveness ~ and yes they were written by different women on my Blogroll (very interesting)…
Jamie at TNChick was talking about that she could forgive, but really has a hard time to forget…Heather at Midlife Moments was talking about the same thing, just in a different situation…Vicki at Windows To My Soul got hurt, forgave the other person and moved on…
So the really hard part of forgiveness is the forgetting part…You see, in Spring of 2005 I made a lot of changes in my personal life. I was involved in many things at my home congregation. I was rarely home during the week, or prepared for things for church at home. Even on the weekends I spend time at church…God gave me a new perspective on serving Him. He gently (or maybe not so gently) reminded me that I do have a ministry at home!
You probably start wondering where the forgiveness and forgetting part comes in…Let me tell you.
After I stepped back from all the ‘public’ ministries, I was laid ‘waste-side’ by most people of my congregation. I was okay with it. They were just too busy to deal with my personal hurts, I forgave and moved on. The forgetting part was a little harder. When I needed my congregation the most, they dropped me like a hot potato…But I continued to seek comfort in God’s Word and it helped me to stay focused on what was really important in this life! Him and His promise: That He was the only one who can see me through the valleys of life…
The biggest clincher though came this last spring. My best friend told me that I have changed too much; that I had more time for on-line friends than for real people. Ouch! She was the only one I still met for Bible study and now she was gone too…Yikes! But to be perfectly honest with you, I see my writing on my Blog as ministry. The people who come across my blog and read what I have to write are REAL people too. We are only divided by a computer screen…AND my main ministry is at home. With God’s help, I can be the wife and mother He wants me to be. Sure it is not a public ministry, but it is the most rewarding one.
Did I forgive my best friend for the hurtful words? Of course I did! Did I forget them? Nope. They come up once in awhile and sting my heart…but…
“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” ~ Philippians 3:12-14
I hope that you will allow me to host your entry this week on ‘The Beauty of Philippians’. Please visit Sallie’s blog ‘A Gracious Home‘ for guidelines.
Please email me your information (name, blog name, title of your post and a short lead-in) by Tuesday, 3pm EST. – Thank you :smile:.
Forgetting is the hard part. I’m glad that isn’t true of the Lord 🙂
Thank you so much for this thoughtful post. I know exactly what you mean–about being misunderstood or dropped like a ‘hot potato’ once you’re not as actively involved at church. These things happened to me, too. Our friends/family don’t always understand ministry on the web, either. It’s evident by the casual remarks they make sometimes. But we can choose to forgive and press on. Sometimes I need His supernatural forgiveness working in and through me because the hurt can be so deep that, in my flesh, I don’t want to forgive at first. But I make the choice to forgive because I need to be released from the pain, and He helps untangle the hurt.
Thanks for reminding me about the Carnival. I just keep forgetting:-)
Yep, I am real and I am thankful that each and every one of the CWO blog…y’all provide encouragement and inspiration…many times when I need it the most…the wee hours of the morning when everyone is asleep!! Thank you.
Forgetting is so hard. As I said on Heather’s post at Midlife Moments, I have such a hard time letting go of the hurt. It seems to linger even after I think I have forgiven. I find it so hard to knowif I have really forgiven. I have one situation in particular tha seems to just hang on to me -i just can’t seem to forget how I felt – the betrayal. I don’t even know if I have truly “forgiven” because I still feel bitter.
forgot to say that I am planning on joining in – I am just behind this weekend. That “tour” really took up some time!
You used the verse I was going to use. Hmmm.. better think of something else.
This is the hardest part for me too…forgetting the hurt. Such a great post to read. And you are so right, as I was once told by a good friend of mine, our ministry CAN be at home and in all reality, it does start at home!
I know most of my friends have ditched me because I just don’t have the energy anymore to go out and hang out like I used to. However, I like my life the way it is now (did I really just type that??? lol) , and I get so much pleasure reading posts like yours online.
Thanks for sharing!
It is so hard to face opposition for what we know that God has called us to do. That’s why it so helpful to know that we answer to Him, not others, although words and reactions of our earthly friends and family still hurt.
Wonderful posting. Forgiving is so easy sometimes, but as you stated forgetting is not! I struggle with it daily when hubbys ex continues her slander against me on her blog. Each time I ask God to forgive me for being so angry at her, and to forgive her for her hate. But it still creeps back into my heart! I wish it was easy but I know it is not! I pray now to have the strength to forgive and walk away. I find it is getting easier as the days pass to let go of my anger.
I have missed your writings in the past few weeks being busy on vacation. I am using today to catch up and wander through all my favorite blogs. Yours has always had a way of helping me to remember that we can answer the call to minister in many ways and I do believe that blogging for God is one of them! Bless you!
This is a wonderful post & one that I needed very much. The other day a friend & I were talking about an incident that happened to me several years ago & she asked if I had forgiven the person. I told her that I believe I have as I feel no anger towards this person now but I haven’t forgotten.
Thank you for linking to me! This is something that I have been struggling with for quite some time. I enjoyed visiting today and am so thankful for you and your words!
-H
Thank you for visiting my blog lately. I appreciate all of your comments. When I opened up my Bible, I automatically realized it was Eph. 2:8-10, not Eph 28:10. Yikes!! There is no 28. I’m happy to have found your blog. I look forward to perusing your old posts. First I have dishes to put away.
Excellent post. Great encouragement!
Forgiveness is a tough one. Many people say they’ve forgiven but haven’t truly because they still harbour bitterness. I guess our minds being so difficult to erase can really play into Satan’s plan sometimes.
I did a series a while back on forgiveness and I came to the conclusion that we aren’t necessarily meant to “forget” – that forgiveness for us is a choice (sometimes a daily one at that) to let go and no longer hold someone liable for our hurt feelings (or whatever we’re forgiving them for). I think for me, it is harder to forgive when the person isn’t sorry…that seems to “sting my heart” the most.
Great post Iris!
I know what you mean. I might not have a problem forgetting if it was not the same person and the same issue. I mean, I would…. but a little while. But, now – it’s to the point… I feel it’s just going to happen again, and again, and again. Sigh.
When Eliza was born seven weeks early and had to spend time in the NICU, I expected support from our church and was hurt when we didn’t receive that support. I was embarassed when a gentleman from our church came to the NICU to see Eliza but didn’t know her name or ours, just that someone from our church might be there (not the best witness to the NICU of our church). I’ve never been angry about this, just hurt. It wasn’t until I read this post that I saw that maybe what I need is to forgive the oversight. Thanks for a different perspective.
I often find if I hold on to some hurt, the person who hurt me is usually oblivious to my pain. It’s better to talk about it and get it out in the open than to let if fester and grow. I’m talking from recent experience and I’m glad to say I did forgive and forget…to an extent. The hurt and pain is gone, but the lessons learned are there for me to glean from.