No, I am not talking about the ring I received for Christmas from my Sweetheart, I am talking about my Sweetheart…
For years and years I took him for granted. He was there to listen, to comfort, to help me out with things around the house. Did I ever thank him or told him how important he is to me…I don’t think so. Do you think that men don’t like to hear how much we appreciate them? How much we love them? To be honest with you, I thought that I didn’t have to say/show it, that he knew. I am not talking about getting all mushy, but I am saying that we can tell our man that we love them in different ways. One of them is to tell them how much we appreciate them, what they truly mean to us, their providence and their understanding!
I have read two great books last year about the relationship with our man, but this one opened my eyes: For Women Only! Maybe I am the only one who is ignorant to the needs of my man, but I didn’t know a lot of things. Did you know that men would like to have more respect than anything. Even more than intimate relations (although that ranks high too).
Listen to this:
While it may be totally foreign to most of us, the male need for respect and affirmation – especially from his woman – is so hardwired and so critical that most men would rather feel unloved than disrepected or inadequate. The survey indicated that three out of four men (that is 75% – Yikes!!!) would make that choice. (Quote from ‘For Women Only‘ by Shaunti Feldhahn)
After reading this book and Love & Respect, I am more in tune with the needs of my Sweetheart (at least I hope so). How do you show your Sweetie that you respect him? How do you react to him if you don’t agree with his point of view? Do you retreat? Do you get mad? I really would like to hear from you…
Although, I don’t want this to be a ‘contest’, I do want to give away one copy of the book (random drawing on Wednesday, February 18th) by Shaunti Feldhahn, because I believe it is the most important book a married/engaged woman can read – to see things from his point of view…Leave a comment if you are interested in receiving a copy. Please share how you show respect to your Sweetie…
“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”~Ephesians 5:33
Tarzan & I live together; we aren’t married. But we’ve been together for almost 10 1/2 years, so I feel it’s okay for me to reply too. 🙂
One of the things I do and that Tarzan loves the most, is to cook him dinner. While that may seem trivial, he was a bachelor for 35 years, living on fastfood & frozen pizza. There isn’t a night he doesn’t tell me thanks & how good it was.
I know there are other ways I can show my appreciation & really should focus on that. 🙂
I make and bring him all his food and drinks. It took about twenty years for me to do this without rolling my eyes or arguing. It drives me nuts that he constantly asked me to, say, get him a glass of ice water or what have you.
However, when I finally started to do it (after absorbing some of Debi Pearl’s thoughts on the subject), I swear he has gotten more active and helpful around the house…
Those are two books I’ve heard wonderful things about. I do try to tell my hubby how much I love and respect him because he is so thoughtful of me and my needs. Last night he actually thanked me for bringing snacks and just letting him and his brother and our boys watch the Bronco game. Such a little thing, but it made him so happy.
Jane – I don’t think anything is ‘trival’ we do for the man in our life as long as it comes from the heart, no matter ‘how’ little.
Monika – I used to sigh when I needed to iron the shirts of my Sweetie – not anymore.
Paula – yes the books are a God-send and truly worth reading…
Thank you ladies for your responses on this topic. I am looking forward to the drawing on Wednesday and will announce the “winner” on Thursday morning.
well, i must admit i was VERY surprised to see that respect and affirmation ranked so high with our men. but when you think about it, it does make sense because their make up is more about accomplishing and providing.
i had not heard of these 2 books but i have teen daughters (17 & 19) and i’m always looking for books to give them help for their future spouses. i only wish i had been given “self help” books when i was growing up and maybe that would have saved a few scars along the way.
so anyway, thanks for sharing and this week i will be working on physcially saying thanks to my hubby much more often!
blessings,
lisa
Someone once told me we should speak to our husbands as though speaking to Christ. Nevermind that they don’t act Christ-like all the time. I’ve really taken that advice to heart. I’m not always good at keeping irritation out of my voice, however.
The way I speak to my husband, vocal intonation, facial expression, etc., conveys respect or disrespect.
Also, I respect his space. He has a study into which I only tread when he’s present. He also has a few routines that I think are absurd, but I allow for them. (Morning ritual and after-work ritual involving the computer, the newspaper, the bathroom and beverages. Whatever.) He appreciates that I respect his “space” like this.
My husband never complains about the house. Ever. He was raised in an immaculate house by an OCD mom, but has never once mentioned my little paper piles, dirty windows or my *gasp* closet. One thing I’ve noticed that he really appreciates, however, are freshly laundered sheets. No matter what’s going on in my life, with my health, with our schedules, or with the house, I make sure that man’s got clean sheets twice a week. He’s never asked for it and wouldn’t complain if I went a month without changing them. Maybe that’s part of the reason why I do it.
He can get up and get his own snacks. [grin]
Lisa & Carol, I’ll include your names in the drawing on Wednesday…:)
Lisa, the best thing about those two ‘self-help’ books that they were written with Scripture in mind…
Carol, mh ya – the space thing. Now I make a cup of coffee when my Sweetie gets home (although did that before too, but plopped my boody down to ‘talk’), ask how his day went and retreat to a different room. Sometimes it is hard to do, but I’ll wait my turn. Before I read these books, I thought my Sweetie was mad at me when he didn’t talk to me, but he was just trying to unwind….