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Where do I fit In?

My Guys 1988I have written this post so many times in my head (I don’t think that I have ever published it – I hope not). And this past week it came back up reading blogs on my blogroll.

Where do I fit in? Why am I blogging? You see, most of the blogs I read (about 95% of them) are Christian women who are SAHM’s and I enjoy reading them. Those beautiful women have committed their lives to stay home, put their careers on hold and raise children instead. Like my blogging buddy Heather said, “the most underappreciated job”. It is true. Women who stay home with their children are most often underappreciated. I for myself stayed home with our son only the first six months of his life. Was that wrong? I don’t know. Only time will tell. Did I love him less? I don’t think so. Although we have our struggles, and sometimes I don’t like how he acts (and I am sure he doesn’t like my decisions sometimes either – especially when it comes to his education) – I love him from the bottom of my heart. I thank God that he has given us the opportunity to raise this precious child.

You are probably wondering by now, where I am going with this. I am getting there – I promise…

Reading those precious blogs over the last week showed me that I really don’t fit in. The only thing that we have in common is that we all love the Lord. I received a comment last week that mentioned that I might blaspheme God working not at home, but seeking employment outside the home. Ouch – that hurt. Does it really make me an un-Godly woman to work outside the home? I have been thinking about that and it has been a roller-coaster-ride of emotions. But then Proverbs 31 came to mind. Especially verse 27:

She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. (NIV)

Do I really neglect my family when I work outside the home to help make ends meet? The laundry gets done. Supper is cooked every night (okay – almost every night :wink:). My house is clean (most of the time – keeping up with the dust in the desert is a challenge). Hubby and I have ‘alone time’…
So, my question to you: am I an un-Godly woman? Where do I fit in the blogging world?

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Different Thankful Thursday – A Tribute…

I normally participate in Thankful Thursday’s, but today I will talk about something different. In a way, it still goes with the theme of being thankful. I am thankful for my earthly dad.

Today marks the 15th anniversary of my dad’s death. He passed away on March 23rd, 1991, in the early morning hours in Bremerhaven, Germany, at the age of 52. He had battled cancer since 1978 and he finally lost the fight.

My dad was an awesome father and grandfather ~ although he only met our son; my sister’s children were born after his death. He loved Daniel to pieces. It broke his heart when my Sweetheart and I decided in the fall of 1990 to move from Germany to the States. After my Sweetheart left for the States to build a new home for his family, I lived with my parents for 3 months to save money. My dad was again very sick from the cancer that had attacked his body so many years earlier (we thought he had beaten this decease *sigh*). Some nights I heard him roaming the apartment ( I was a light sleeper – could never sleep well without my hubby). I could hear him being in pain and I prayed that God would heal him soon…

On February 8th, 1991, Daniel and I left Germany to join my Sweetheart in the States. And what a ‘goodbye’ it was. I truly thought that I would see my dad again. I trusted that God would heal him soon. You know, that I didn’t even tell my dad that I loved him. Till this day that is heavy on my heart. I spoke with my dad several times from my new home. He had made plans to visit with my mom the fall of 1991. He wanted me to find a long-term-rental so they wouldn’t be a burden to us. What a guy!!! – Always thinking of others first. He was always positive and happy, even with the disease slowly killing him. He never, ever complained about pain or how unfair it was that he was so sick.

On March 23, 1991, 5:30am I received the worst call in my life (to-date that is). My dad passed away after some painful hours. All I could say to my hubby: ‘No, this must be a mistake. It is not true. I just talked to him the other day making plans to visit us in the fall!!!’ After my Sweetheart confirmed that my dad did pass away, I grew cold, angry and I was hurt. How could God not heal my dad? My dad was a God-fearing man…He trusted God as much as I did. What went wrong? I was so angry, I didn’t pray again or talk to God for six years after my dad had died.

You know what the hardest part was? I wasn’t allowed to leave the country to attend the funeral of my own father. None of the airlines wanted to give me a break. Hello – I still had a return flight!!! But no one wanted to redeem it for me to fly back….I was able to leave the country two months after my dad had died. I also had to be careful leaving the country due to my status as not an ‘official’ resident alien. Regulations, you know….The trip back to Germany in May of 1991 was the hardest trip I’ve ever made across the Atlantic. I finally was able to say ‘goodbye’ and ‘see you later…’

Looking back at how angry I was at God, it makes me angry at myself. God did heal my dad, just not the way I thought He would. I still miss my dad, but he is in a much better place than I am. I am looking forward to the day when we are reunited in heaven…and dance in the streets of golden.

I love you dad….See you soon!

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” ~ Rev 21:4 (NIV)

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Tribute to my Dad

Well, today would have been by Dad’s (Peter Brueck) 67th birthday. Unfortunately he only lived to be 52. He was a great and godly man. Although he stumbled sometimes, he had a great foundation – the Word of God. My sister Dagmar and I were blessed to be raised by such a man. He taught us family values and morals, all based on God’s Word. This past Friday I had to think about him a lot and actually broke down (after 14 years); I never realized how much I miss him. Fortunately I am married to a wonderful, caring husband who told me to “just cry – it will make you feel better”. Yes, it did – and I know that I will see my Dad someday again. Thanks Dad for all you have done for me and my family – Happy Birthday – bis bald im Himmel.