I have written this post so many times in my head (I don’t think that I have ever published it – I hope not). And this past week it came back up reading blogs on my blogroll.
Where do I fit in? Why am I blogging? You see, most of the blogs I read (about 95% of them) are Christian women who are SAHM’s and I enjoy reading them. Those beautiful women have committed their lives to stay home, put their careers on hold and raise children instead. Like my blogging buddy Heather said, “the most underappreciated job”. It is true. Women who stay home with their children are most often underappreciated. I for myself stayed home with our son only the first six months of his life. Was that wrong? I don’t know. Only time will tell. Did I love him less? I don’t think so. Although we have our struggles, and sometimes I don’t like how he acts (and I am sure he doesn’t like my decisions sometimes either – especially when it comes to his education) – I love him from the bottom of my heart. I thank God that he has given us the opportunity to raise this precious child.
You are probably wondering by now, where I am going with this. I am getting there – I promise…
Reading those precious blogs over the last week showed me that I really don’t fit in. The only thing that we have in common is that we all love the Lord. I received a comment last week that mentioned that I might blaspheme God working not at home, but seeking employment outside the home. Ouch – that hurt. Does it really make me an un-Godly woman to work outside the home? I have been thinking about that and it has been a roller-coaster-ride of emotions. But then Proverbs 31 came to mind. Especially verse 27:
She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. (NIV)
Do I really neglect my family when I work outside the home to help make ends meet? The laundry gets done. Supper is cooked every night (okay – almost every night :wink:). My house is clean (most of the time – keeping up with the dust in the desert is a challenge). Hubby and I have ‘alone time’…
So, my question to you: am I an un-Godly woman? Where do I fit in the blogging world?
Um. A big fat no – you are not an un-Godly woman.
Not.At.All.
The fact that this would even bother you ought to speak wonders. If you didn’t care, didn’t bother to think about it, didn’t mind – then I’d wonder about ya, girlie.
I’ve never known of you to or saw you blaspheme God. Ever.
Many women would love to be home but can’t… as if they are – ends won’t meet.
Think about single moms or dads. They must work… if they didn’t how would they pay rent, eat, etc.
You don’t need to fit in – I don’t fit in, either… in any cliques. We are who we are… we blog because we want to. For ourselves. That is reason enough. We are better being unique and othes can stand back and offer all the opinions they want but they doesn’t change the real you, your heart, your soul.
Chin up! Don’t wanna make a trip to the West just to make you smile.
I have a post for you to read on SUnday – can’t do it today or Saturday – so you’ll have to wait. LOL
I’ll tell you one thing you’re doing that you may not realize — you’re mentoring those of us who are staying home, raising our kids, and feeling weary. It’s a struggle, day in and day out, to stay home and feel like I could be out in the world being appreciated more. At home, my kids are still at the age where they depend on me completely for everything, and I feel depleted most of the time.
God doesn’t call every woman to stay home, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with a Christian woman serving the Lord in an area outside the home. God gifts each of us with different talents.
What you might be experiencing now are some growing pains — maybe you’re “outgrowing” this area of blogging you’ve been doing the past year. Maybe it’s time to pray to see if there’s some new challenge God has placed on your heart. This Beth Moore study is calling all of us to move out of our comfort zones; maybe He has something in store for you that’s different than what you’re doing now.
What are you passionate about? As you’re entering a new chapter of your life with your son moving to live on his own, what does God want you to do? You won’t feel a peace until you find it! (praying for ya!!)
🙂
I don’t believe so. I don’t believe it says that in the Bible either.
You fit in as one of the most encouraging and gentle voices in the web! You fit in as a shining light of our Saviour’s love. You fit in as my sister-in-Christ and my e-sister – and don’t you ever forget it! 😀
Look – are you “reverent in the way [you] live, not a slanderer or addicted to much wine, but teaching what is good.” ? I think you are. As to whether or not you should have stayed home – it’s none of my business and it’s in the past.
I do think you are a Titus Mom. You are able to encourage the young women to “love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”
And you do it with your trademark welcoming warmth.
You are the big fuzzy afghan of the blogosphere!
I just wanna clarify – I put the word “should” in italics above because I hate that word. Should have’s are useless. Should have’s are always about something you can’t change.
You’re one of the godliest women I know! As far as fitting in the blogosphere, I’m not sure that even matters, although the unifying factor is the love of Jesus shed abroad in all our hearts. Hey, maybe i dont fit in! I’m fat, 50, frisky, with grown kids, more grandkids on the way, dealing with chronic illness while trying to muster enough energy to run a freelance business. Where does that put me?:-) For a season, I stayed home; for a season, I worked outside the home.
Oh Iris!! You shine the love of Jesus everywhere you go, my friend, and I can’t believe anyone would think a woman is blaspheming God by taking on a job outside the home. The decisions we make are really between us and the Lord. We are to love and support each other, not judge when we don’t know all the facts anyway.
Hope something here helps. I’ve been behind on blog visits. Always love coming here. You’re a great encourager to all of us!!
So… being the newbie around… I just wanted to say, how beautiful that you are after God’s own heart! What a blessing it was to read your thoughts and you are not an unGodly woman!
Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you’ve done wrong, working outside the home. We do what we have to, and you take care of your family. I believe that is a decision that can only be made within each individual family.
My daughter HAS to work outside, being a single Mom with 4 children in school (4th, 6th, 10th & 11th), and it’s hard. But, she spends ever minute she can with her kids when she’s off. In fact, she took today off, since they were out of school. She’d love nothing more than to stay home, but that’s impossible, unless God sends her a wealthy man. 🙂
You are certainly not an un-Godly woman, for working outside the home. You just have to take all that with a grain of salt, when you are criticized. God knows your heart! And, as far as blogging goes, you can always visit this grandmother – who did stay home with her kids, but also worked (I made custom drapes and everything else) with them tagging around me. Even took care of my oldest two grandchildren for a couple years doing the same thing.
You smiling yet? Feel any better? Look at all the positive words above. Don’t let someone, anyone, make you hurt. I know it’s hard – but if at all possible – just kinda backspace ’em out… 🙂
I’m working on a assignment that is due Tuesday, it’s a time management thing… do you know how hard it is for me to do with I don’t have to manage my time becuase I just do whatever? LOL Ugh.
I do not like it when someone confuses their preference with doctorine. It is absolutely not a sin to work outside the home. Also, as a SAHM I think working mom’s are often underappreciated. You have to try to do all that I do and still work another full time job.
Do not second guess yourself, just because of words that somebody said to you. Their ideas are not supported in scripture. And unless the Holy Spirit has decided to use blogs to speak to people…I would give their words little value. 😉
I’m speechless. NO, you are not ungodly if you work outside of the home. Big fat no.
OUCH. I’ve had to deal with some negativism in my own parish recently. Your faith is between YOU and GOD.
Where do you fit in? You fit in perfectly as a creation of God whereever you go. Blogging isn’t just for stay at home or work at home parents. Blogging is for anyone who has a voice to share. It’s for anyone who has something to say.
Working out of the home is just as hard as staying home. Working out of the home can sometimes be harder in the sense that you’re always rushing around trying to get things done because you’ve been away for 8 to 10 hours a day.
Perhaps, what you are feeling is the Holy Spirit tugging on your heart to reach out to the working parents of the world.
Sometimes, God allows Satan to use people to push us to where God wants us. Perhaps God allowed that post to hit you hard because He wants you to feel what other working parents feel.
Perhaps God wants you to change the theme of your blog to minister to and reach the working parents of the world.
If it were me, I’d voice my feelings to a trusted friend and ask her to pray with me until something is resolved in me that tells me what God wants me to do with the message that hit so hard. What do you think?
Um, excuse me? No, it is not blasphemous to work outside the home, nor does it make you an ungodly woman. But accusing others of such probably does boarder on blasphemy.
Iris, we are all called to different things in life. If you are called to be employed outside the home, then you better get to work, girl!
I did a study on the Titus 2 woman a couple of years ago and one thing one of our teachers said that really resonated with me was this:
Whether it is how neat your house is kept, how your meals are provided, or whether you work outside the home is between you and your husband to decide. Period. Not your best friend, your parents or anyone else.
Obviously an unmarried person’s “husband” is God. We need to submit to the person God has placed us under and not everyone else for our homes. After all, I do believe that the Proverbs 31 woman did work.
Iris, remain steadfast in your faith. You are apparently an awesome woman and inspiration to many who know you personally. We love you sista.
Working outside the home doesn’t make you un-Godly. I’ve worked and I have been a stay at home Mom. OhMyGoodnes, did God ever burden me to quit my job. I ran. RAN, I tell ya! Ran from one job to another till finally I quit. Yes it was very rewarding. God blessed me with a rewarding WOHM job after that time in my life also. I’m still at the same place working and believe me if you don’t feel God placing a burden on you to do something other than you are doing, you can FULLY KNOW that you are where God wants you to be. We are ALL disciples for God and He will send us out into the world to spread His love and word.
We are all part of a bigger picture doing Gods work, working as the body of Christ. The devil takes great joy when parts of this body attacks other parts of the body because we hinder Gods work.
Where do you fit in?? You are part of the body of Christ and we all need to work together.
Titus 2:1-5
1 ¶ But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine:
2 That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.
3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Keep in mind that this is the Word of God. It is not a weapon to one such as you, who has a teachable spirit. I do not intend to hurt you with this quote.
However, it is false and untrue to say that the Bible does not teach that women should be keepers at home. The Bible is very clear that we should be keepers at home.
I’m just reading this post now… NO WAY someone said that first of all. That’s just about blaspheme. I so agree with what all above had said. Working outside of the home is just as much a sacrifice as being at home. God has you right where he wants you, and He would have or will speak to you if he has a different plan. I struggle with just the opposite feelings sometimes. HUGS to you 🙂
LadyBex, you raise a very good point. My heart is always glad to see the sword of truth raised during a loving discussion. We are discussing this in the spirit of agape, right?
So, looking at that text, veing a keeper of the home is not defined as being to the exclusion of any employment or financial gain outside said home. Oikouris is the Greek word for keeper. In the Titus 2:5 context, it can be read as one who stays home, one who is a good housekeeper or one who is domestically inclined. Yes. Women are given that charge.
The Proverbs 31 woman…
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
My bad! I should have backed up to include verse 15: She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
So, she also delegates some of those duties? Bravo!
While we’re at it, let’s also take a look at Romans 14. First, verse 1: Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters.
Next, 9-13: For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living. 10You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. 11It is written:
” ‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord,
‘every knee will bow before me;
every tongue will confess to God.’ “[a] 12So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.
13Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way.
Or sister’s, methinks.
Oh my! This is a very intense and oftentimes personal issues and I tend to stay clear of making comments. But while reading your post, the one thought kept coming through to me–
in Christian terms:
God helps those who help themselves….and if it takes two incomes to make lives easier for those you love, in my mind’s eye, you ARE helping yourself…so your God will assist.
I’m bouncing around the Blogging Chicks Carnival to day…enjoying what there is in the offerings of all the diverse and interesting choices!!! I added mine too.
HERE
How cruel of someone to post a comment like that to you. None of us should judge, and you most definately belong. We are all one body in Christ, without you, a vital part of our body would be missing and the whole body would hurt!
Love and hugs from another part of the body,
Oh, as far as working outside the home, no one should judge!
Where you fit in is right with your family! It doesn’t matter if you don’t ‘fit’ with the blogging world, but I don’t believe that’s true anyway. Just as you gain much from those staying at home, we’ll gain from you by getting to see the other side of the story. Very likely many of our daugthers or daughters-in-law (once our children are grown) will be working moms and it is good to see the different type of sacrifice a working mom has to make.
You fit in right where you are supposed to!
I believe the bible is to be used as a tool for examples of how to live your life – not a literal “DO OR DIE” doctrine….those people who tell you otherwise are rude, crude, and should mind their own business.
I own a store. I work outside the home.
For now that is what God has called me to do. At some point I do pray that He will let me stay home because I truly do prefer that.
My little boy goes with me everyday so I am with him and able to do a lot with him.
But as I struggle with this too, I think of the people I’ve been able to witness to, invite to church, to help. The former stripper who is struggling because she can’t get a job that pays as well as stripping–my single mom customers that are barely making it–my homeschooling moms that encourage me and give me input.
I don’t know that what I’m doing is ungodly;)
As far as blogging–well I think what you do has nothing to do with blogging;)
My humble opinion is that each family has different needs, and a godly woman does what is best for her family. If that is working outside the home, she should do it with joy and thankfulness that she is able to do so instead of being unable. If it is working inside the home, she should do it with the best of her abilities and not be ashamed or intimidated by other women in different circumstances. I wish I had the choice to be a sahm, but at this season of my life I’m a working non-mother. So I do it with joy. 🙂