Two years ago, almost to the day, God had put me on a path to becoming a better wife–not that I was a horrible wife. God knew that I could be a much better one. Today I would like to share with you some things that changed my marriage from being average to wonderful. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I am still having issues; like rolling my eyes and sometimes my pride rears its ugly head. With God’s help I can overcome them. At the end of my post I will share several links with you and I pray you will take the time to follow them. I think they are great posts/resources that can make all our marriages the way God intended them to be…full of love and respect…
Intimate time…before I give you my own thoughts on it, I want to share Scripture with you:
“For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
~ 1 Corinthians 7:4-5 (emphasis mine)
We live busy lives. We raise children, we run the household, we balance the checkbook, we volunteer our time at the PTA or at church. We even work outside the home. We are too busy or too tired to have time for our husbands. That was my first mistake. I went to bed very early, because I ‘had a headache’ or ‘I was tired’. In all reality I was depriving my husband. Yikes! He wanted me, but I rejected him. Double Yikes!! Denying my husband intimate time is like taking candy from a child. Today, we go together to bed. Sure, some nights I am very tired — so I take a nap…you know, there is nothing better than to fall asleep in the arms of my lover, who strokes my back and kisses my forehead and tells me that he loves me forever and than some…
Respect…I have talked about it several times and I don’t want to bore you too long with it. Respect is the key to his heart – believe me! I tell my Sweetheart how much his provisions mean to me. I bite my tongue if I don’t agree with him. I am not saying that I don’t have my own opinion on things, but I rather think first before I open my mouth.
“She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” ~ Proverbs 31:26
Listen…Another point I had to learn. Not that I didn’t listen before…listening means to just let him rant — let off steam. Our men are under a lot of stress in the workplace–from office politics to unfair treatment. I keep quiet during his ‘rant sessions’. When he is done, I usually just tell him that I understand (I do) and that I love him…
His needs first…Yes, we are often stretched thin with our time, but put your man first. Although I don’t have small children to take care off, our son still ‘demands’ time. And I like to do things for myself like reading, blogging or just relaxing. As you might know, we both work. I get up first. I make sure his coffee is ready before I kiss him ‘good morning’. During the time he gets ready, I prepare his coffee thermos, bagel, clean his eye-wear so everything is ready for him before he leaves the home. Yes, his needs before our son’s or my own…
“She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.” ~ Proverbs 31:15
Relaxing…I let my Sweetheart unwind before I bring up projects or talk to him about my concerns…
Communicate…find out the preferred communication tool. My Sweetheart does not like to talk on the phone, so we communicate via email through out the day. That gives him the chance to get back to me when he has the time. Of course emergencies are the exception.
Honesty…When my Sweetheart asks me what I think, I let him know. He can’t read my mind…
Prayer…I pray for my Sweetheart on a daily basis. I pray for his protection, for his health, for wisdom. I ask God to put a hedge around our marriage so we both don’t fall into sin and defile our marriage bed…
“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”
~ Hebrew 13:4
Fill my own cup…staying in His word is vital to my marriage and my personal well being. He is the only One who can give my wise council on issues I struggle with. I also surround myself with Godly women — reading their books, reading their Blogs and cultivate off-line friendships…
“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.”
~ John 15:4
Last but not least…I tell my Sweetheart what he means to me, and how much I love him — every single day. I do it through my actions and with words of encouragement, love and respect…
I know that the above points are obvious, but I had to learn them. It is not that I didn’t do some of them before, but it was the way I did them. It was my attitude. Before, I might have done them out of obligations as a wife. Today I do them with joy in my heart out of love and respect for God and my Sweetheart…
“You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy;at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”
~ Psalm 16:11
As I mentioned above, I would like to share some links with you. Two are posts that were written by Godly women on their respective Blogs within days of each other. The first is by Carol titled “She is Happily Married“. The other one is by Lysa TerKeurst titled “Help! I think I’ve misplaced my Sexual Desire“.
When I was visiting Blogs this past Wednesday for WW, I came across a post by Eagles Wings. She had a link posted from Revive your Hearts Ministries — a 30-Day-Husband Encouragement-Challenge. Will you take that challenge with me? The last link I would like to share is a book: Stormie Omartian’s book “Power of a Praying Wife” put me on the path to pray specific prayers for my husband and our marriage…
Oh my – I don’t think I have ever posted a blog this long…I apologize — I just had to share…I hope that some of the points I have made today are helpful to you and your relationship with the man in your life…
Blessings on your day and as always…
All Scripture passages are taken from:
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version © 2001
